I'm just not settling for crumbs

There comes a time in every young females life where she meets a 'him'. 'He' is gorgeous nice job, makes her laugh, makes her feel secure, makes her comfortable, basically she is happy with him. Sometimes this "him" is the he for her. Sometimes not so much. Sometimes he is her right now, sometimes her forever, sometimes her never. I guess i've decided to tell a story of my right now, what i wanted for my forever, and the one i knew would be my never. *Names have been changed*

SHARDONEE

My right now. I loved her. I mean truly loved her. How it even got to that point i'm not sure. We were friends but I knew she wanted more than that. However, I didn't want to give in, but, as 3 nights a week turned in to every night and ttyl turned into I love you I fell. Truly i did love her, still care about her but something wasn't right. We in the midst had to many lies. We had great times, but when we fought, i realized she was dealing with issues outside of me. And i had been using her to runaway from issues i didn't want to see. At that time she was my right now. Right now, or well then, i just need it someone who would tell me everything would be alright. Someone who would tell me that I was beautiful and worthy and we were going to be happy. Right now i needed someone to perpetrate my fairy tale. Well in reality fairy tales don't exist and there isn't always a happy ending.

LEVON

The one I wanted forever. And truly i thought i wanted him forever. Despite his faults, my faults, the faults in our nonexistent relationship, he was the one i thought i could change. I figured if i just love him with all of me he will be completely mine. Not so I was giving him me when unbeknownst to me he had given his heart to someone already. I thought it was on reserve for me. That he was my forever, my soulmate, my love was just waiting for me to be ready. Don't they say love was blind. Oh there were signs and hindsight is 20/2o and all the wonderful cliches. But when ur in it u just don't want to let go. Almost can't let go, when you're willing to give and let that person embrace your soul. Like the song says "forever never comes"

"September-Cry For You"

Forever and ever
Life is now or
never
Forever never comes around
(People love and let go)
Forever and
ever
Life is now or never
Forever's gonna slow you down

TREVANTE'

Alas, my never. I knew from the minute we started that we'd never be for real. I wasn't looking for love he was engaged and I'm not going down the homewrecker/mistress path. But yet and still, somehow we thought we were different. We were each other's escape. When we didn't feel love or when we just wanted someone else to talk to. The comfort of another's understanding. If only we really understood how we were hurting ourselves. We were forging a breakable connection out of lust that became love. But when the lust was gone, where was the love. We tried and maybe we were confused about the path. I knew, well now I say that, that this was wrong, but it shouldn't have started. We just couldn't be.