For to long I have believed I suffered with a duality of nature. That I was both Tenesha and Min. Amos, this is the root of my issue. Tenesha does not create a seperate person outside of minister amos, no the truth of the matter is they are one in the same. Daily I fight with the sins of the flesh but these sins do not make up my personality not my character. Things that cause me a spiritual fight are burdens i should be working to get rid of. By giving in to the life God has called me to I am giving in to Gods will for my life.
For years I have known that apart of me was gone that didnt have to leave and I yearned for me. Realizing this I was also blinded to just how much I had given. Ive been through depression, atempted suicide, suffered from a form of cutting that has left me scared all to no avail. What was I missing, it's not like it wasnt right there I had been running from it all along. When you have been called by God you have been tasked, you have a job, God is requiring more of you. All of this I have known and until maybe this last month I didnt understand how dynamic this was to my quality of life. Through various trials and dealings I had been sinking further and further from my calling nd thus who God desired for me to be. No more, I know that in christ I well experience the fulness of my character and thus glorify him all the more. I know this transition is not easy but neither was the rebellion. I bless God for enlightenment, for opening my eyes and for giving me a chance to be right in him.
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